Steven Tyler, a Kia Stinger & the Mid-life Crisis
During one of the many down-time sessions here at Hohenheim Productions, while playing Runescape on the laptop and watching 3rd Rock from the Sun on FilmRise, a commercial cut in that grabbed my attention with a familiar tune. Aerosmith’s Dream On fades in as a regal Steven Tyler takes the test-drive of a lifetime. Upon initial viewing, the familiarity of a rock classic both in song and physical appearance leaves you a lot less annoyed than most commercials and the time-travelling aspect challenges your expectations, but upon further reflection, the undertones and subliminal message of the commercial is much more interesting.
If you don’t know the commercial, I’ll summarize it for you, Steven Tyler is test-driving a vehicle on a closed track, a nice red Kia, because he wants to feel something. He gets in the vehicle, and instead of driving the car forward, he decides to take the car backwards around the track, creating this time-travel effect in the dust, bringing us to him stepping out of the car in his Prime surrounded by screaming fans.
So you’re saying, Okay, cool! I know what it’s telling us! It’s telling us to buy this really sweet new time-traveling ride! I mean, Steven Tyler seems to like it, right? Uh… No…
This commercial is directly catering to men who are going through a mid-life crisis. In fact, the commercial invites men to partake in a midlife crisis. Now let’s look at how.
Regal AARP Steven Tyler prepares to take the ride of his life in a trailer that was clearly decorated by a fan who over-romanticizes the Aerosmith glory days. He steps out of the trailer and onto the track, where a similarly old man, probably an easter egg from the time period that I don’t recognize and am too lazy to research, is just finishing his Viagra commercial shoot.
Let’s look very specifically at the overall of what he does next. The car is facing forward, so that it can go forward in time, the car is designed to be driven, forward.
Steven Tyler decides to go back, forward, those are the diaper-wearing, old-folk home years, can’t make it to the bathroom years, and he’s a little old to have a party-fueled drug overdose and go out like a rocker.. [remember ANY clip of his idiocy on American Idol] Yeah, those days are gone, pal.
But behind him, in the past, those are the glory days, the I-can’t-walk-out-my-front-door-without-stumbling-into-a-naked-groupie days. And where does this car take him when he decides to ignore the handy-dandy rear-view camera and speed backwards?
Okay, great point, he wants to go back in time, who doesn’t?! How does this point at a midlife crisis?
What is usually the first few things associated with male action in regards to a mid-life crisis? Two things come to mind: sleeping with younger women, and buying a nice car. And this commercial makes BOTH of those connections for you!
Even Psychology Today couldn’t bring up its short summary of a mid-life crisis without spelling out the urge to buy a nice car:
“Everything seems to happen at mid-life: The empty nest, menopause, affairs, and growing unhappiness with the daily grind. That red convertible looks tantalizingly good. You tally your failures and disappointments, and cannot muster a smidgen of gratitude.”
Every part of this commercial says you need this car in order to “feel something again” whether your this first guy, who just wanted to feel speed... hot, nasty, badass, speed OR you’re Steven Tyler who just wants to feel tight young twat again from the 70s. Point being, you’re gonna feel it.
Steven Tyler’s famous “Dream On” bleeds lightly into the commercial as it builds to a crescendo for the climax, establishing that this is a Dream, they want you to feel the fantasy (and remember a great song).
So for the Regal AARP member desperately trying to recapture their youth and find meaning in their impending end as the prostate screenings begin, this commercial is there to hold their hand and take them to a fantasy land where owning the right car will have women toppling security to slob on your knob.
Spelled C-U-M... Welcum to ‘Murika!
